Sometimes the world gives you a riddle.

Sometimes it gives you gold.

This is both:

Let’s take a closer look.

Let’s REALLY enterthesnowman.

There’s translation errors and then there’s this wonderfully not proofread piece of advertising.

It’s like a whole new language has been created!

Let’s try and figure this out.

Ok, first of all: “Bebelieve”.

Now this one’s obviously an inspirational layer cake word type of deal.

It’s like “To The Max” and “Just Do It” had a child and called it Maxit Do Toto.

To be and to believe are not the same thing but “Bebelieve” appears to signify “believe in yourself”. 

Yeah, let’s go with that.

The rest of that phrase now feels redundant so let’s just delete it. You can’t be or believe in your beauty anyway, that’s nonsense.

Oh boy.

Right, so there’s probably a word missing here.

Then again, what would “delight in your feeling” even mean? And that’s the best case scenario!

Best I can figure out is delighting in one’s feeling would equate to basking in your own vanity but that’s really not much of a message so let’s tone it down a bit and make it mean something more along the lines of “enjoy your life” or some shit.


The poster makes sense, sort of.

Your life has meaning again.


Posted in Advertising & Packaging, Photography, Signs, stinker writing | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jay Jay Joy Joy

Once upon a time, there was a DVD I encountered in a charity shop.

No, your eyes are not deceiving you: these jet planes have human faces.
Apparently, Thomas The Tank Engine didn’t look quite human enough for the kids watching so Jay Jay The Jet Plane (and his ugly-ass friends) was born.

Taking a page out of the inexplicable Cars and Planes movies, this CGI animated show doesn’t just give planes human faces but flesh coloured human faces, adding an extra layer of realism to the whole thing.

One can then hypothesize that Jay Jay’s adventures are taking place about a hundred years post Cars or Planes, when car scientists finally mastered the art of splicing mechanical and human beings.

Look how expressive those jet planes are:

In your flat, car-coloured faces, Pixar!

Think of the possibilities, marketing-wise. Disney have no chance of competing with human-faced planes.



You name it, Jay Jay can be it.

Look at Disney’s face right now:

Good luck selling your regular, boring old mouthy planes as balloons.

There is one flaw, admittedly, when it comes to human-faced jet planes.

Do you see it?

Look closer.


Posted in Advertising & Packaging, Cartoons, Toys & Stuff, tv | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Be Our Fruits


Slippery little buggers.

And yet so delicious!

It was only a matter of time before advertisers would discover their potential.

Chiquita didn’t just add colour to our bananas but removing those stickers is a fun game in itself!

Thank you Chiquita.

Disney being the big players when it comes to movies about talking inanimate objects, it’s no surprise why they used bananas as a selling tool for their biggest blockbusters.

Dole and Disney came together this year to celebrate the release of Beauty and the Beast (not the animated one, the one that looks like ass).

Talk about a winning combination!

I see what they did there.

Using the word “Beauty” in bold and placing a movie-based book next to a bunch of fruits really is an inspiring and inspired advertising hook.

And the BEAUTY is that Dole can just do that with anything!

Personally I would have made those fruits talk but this is good too.

I bet pineapples sound like real pricks.


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Tostitos Locos

Target supermarkets house some of the greatest things on this Earth.

From Jumbo Push-Pops to baconnaise and Kevin James DVDs, few shopping experiences even compare.

Thanks to Target, you could even win prizes! But not just any prizes: the best gosh darn prizes this side of wherever.

Case in point: Tostitos.

I think this deserves a close-up:

Yes, you read right.

As if winning $1,000 wasn’t good enough, thanks to Tostitos you could also win a piñata of YOURSELF!



How dare you even ask.

To have sex with, of course!

Except instead of fluids, your reward is candy. The candy, as far as I know, is not shaped like yourself but wouldn’t that just be the cherry on the sundae?

Anyway, let’s see what FaceApp thinks about all this.

Time goes fast when you’re having fun.

Too fast.


Posted in Advertising & Packaging, changing age, Foods & Drinks | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

FaceApp: Episode I – The Mannequin Menace

So you know how FaceApp is currently both the dumbest and the best app?

Dull selfies are transformed into absurd gems in a single tap and one can’t help but adore every goofy function the app has to offer.

One minor flaw: you can’t make just ANYTHING into an old man.

But what if you could put a smile on an inanimate object? Brighten up ITS day and, by extension, yours?

Take this lovely mannequin lady, for example:

Bald, proud and dignified.

And yet she deserves better than this glum pout.

Thanks to FaceApp, she’s never been happier AND her complexion is much healthier.

She can even be a man if she wants.

The possibilities are definitely not endless but certainly go a long way.

Now, I put it to you, kind readers of this post: would you rather live in a world full of moody, grumpy mannequins?

Or live in MY world, a world full of happy, gender fluid fake people?

I bet I can guess.

FaceApp gives us a glimpse into a better, more uplifting and possible world so, I beg you: go out there, happy-up your mannequins for this is the future we want and deserve.

Keep in mind, though…

It’s not a perfect science.

Serves us right for playing God.


Posted in Apps, changing age, changing gender, The Net, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yach Bauer

So… 24‘s coming back soon.

That’s pretty awesome.

You know what else is pretty awesome, though?

Yach Bauer Deal With ItYup.


Posted in Animals, Movies, tv | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment