New Post V: Sequelopolis

Finding sequel titles shouldn’t be this difficult: Spiderman, Spiderman 2, Spiderman 3. The end. It CAN be done.

But every so often we get a “Leprechaun VI: Back To Tha Hood” or a “2 Fast 2 Furious” which reminds us that either movies can’t count or spell or…they just don’t LIKE it.

Here’s an example of a film I found in a Parisian second hand DVD store:

What’s a “City of Masks”? Well, looks like we have two options: an ACTUAL city of masks with buildings wearing eyeliner and Zorro-style eye masks or…a city in which either lots of dodgy, underground stuff happens or lots of mysterious masked crusaders roam the streets. Any way you look at it…

Wait, just noticed the tagline: “Welcome to the evolution revolution!”. What is this film ABOUT???

Of course not all sequels can be as amazing as this:

Welcome to the disco evolution revolution...

Other examples of faulty sequelisms include films which really aren’t aware of themselves and what they’re doing at all. Some people MADE these posters and said “nothing wrong here”, then people looked at them and proclaimed in unison “nothing wrong here” then producers marketed these films under those titles with the “nothing wrong here” brand firmly embedded in their DNA. So in the end we get either this:

Thank god Lambert's mouth is not open...

Which sounds like porn. Or this:


Which sounds about as terrifying as an actual marsupial:

The horror...


Sequel titles can also sound like slogans or tattoos as “Batman Forever” kindly shows us. But I think ultimately it’s the silly subtitles born out of the filmmakers’ (or producers) super-pride or madness which kill a lot of sequels. Then again, some ideas are just dumb:

Who asked for this?

Ok, I see. So you’ve got Psycho II, III, IV, the Psycho remake…you HAVE to make a Birds II!

You said it Alf.



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