The Da Little Shoes Code

What is it about shoes?

I really can’t get my head around how important shoes are to people. I mean…they’re like pockets for your FEET! Come ooooon! They’re like giant flat leather condoms you walk on aaaaaall daaaaay! What’s so amazing about…oh.

I can understand the use of shoes (I really can) and their appeal in terms of collecting them as some kind of fashion toy: they’re colourful, they’re stylish, they’re like feet puppets! But I do draw the line when it comes to stuff like this:

Entering the Snowman

That’s right. This is what the inherent cuteness of tiny shoes have reduced us to, people: risking public humiliation by taking pictures of tiny shoes…

The Pyramid of Shame

AT THE LOUUUUUUVRES!!!

This is one of those real life “nothing wrong heres” that make life worth living. First of all, what is that guy doing? Second of all, surely there’s more interesting things to check out in Paris, at the Louvres, than your own ridiculously small shoes. Third of all: you’re taking pictures of tiny shoes…in public! Even the pigeon below had to actually land and check this shit out for himself. I mean, what if Langdon and…whoever Audrey Tautou was meant to be in The Da Vinci Code pass by?

WTF?

I know, right? But wait…what’s with Tom Hanks’ face in that picture? It’s HUGE! Now that’s one bulbous, boulder-sized cranium which’ll never fit inside a tiny shoe.

But, as if that wasn’t weird enough, the guy proceeds to put the little shoes in individual plastic pockets before gently, and carefully placing them into a sealed plastic container:

Goodbye Shoes

Dude! They’re SHOES! They won’t escape!

Unless…

I seriously don’t know what that guy was doing with these tiny shoes but I can’t stop thinking about it. I just can’t. Hence the following possibilities I’ve thought of whilst living my poor, pathetic life:

1/ He’s ACTUALLY demented

2/ He’s some witty “artist” poking fun at something or other

3/ He’s a whimsical “photographer” working on some ridiculous project

4/ He was born in a giant Parisian shoe and this is…payback?

5/ He thinks shoes are people

6/ They are magic shoes

7/ He was put up to it by some dastardly dare or it was in his father’s will

8/ These are his baby shoes and…he’s literally “capturing” his entire childhood by doing this

9/ Very small people live in those shoes and they always wanted to see Paris before moving on to “bigger” things

10/ He is a sad and lonely man

To be honest, at first I thought those shoes might belong to that stupid-ass garden gnome from Amélie and that guy’s like his loyal assistant who does stuff for him when he’s too busy but wait…he’s only around the corner!

The Puppetmaster?

Lazy sod…

AE

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One Response to The Da Little Shoes Code

  1. Pingback: Tiny Angels and Demons | enterthesnowman

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