Old Hollywood: Romancing the Snowman

Nothing says “nothing wrong here” like a good old-fashioned misguided, politically incorrect racial stereotype played by some famous Hollywood white guy or starlet.

You know, like that time Genghis Khan, legendary founder of the Mongol Empire…

Genghis

…was portrayed in a little film called The Conqueror

 

…by JOHN WAYNE!

Ah'm the conqueror.

Not only is John Wayne the worst possible choice for the part (he’s from Iowa lol) but the classic tagline: “They conquered each other…and then the World” promises historical accuracy like cigarettes promise good health. But maybe I’m being harsh, perhaps another visual representation of the real Genghis Khan could explain the casting of John Wayne in this.

Genghis

Ok, so that’s Genghis, now lets see Wayne?

Not Genghis

Hm, ok, u-huh. Wayne me again, please.

Ah got mahself a bud!

WORST. CASTING. EVEEEEER!

 

Well, maybe not ever. I mean, there’s always Christopher Lee’s Fu Manchu…

Brides of Fu Manchu

In a recent interview, Christopher Lee tells an anecdote about a day when they were shooting a Fu Manchu film and he had to take a boat in China in full make-up and costume across a bay in order to get to the set and everyone was obviously looking at him. This one Chinese guy apparently walked up to him and was like “Where are you from? Are you Chinese?” and he was like “No” so the guy went “What’s your name?” to which the “physically”, um, enhanced actor responds “Lee”, much to the Chinese guy’s satisfaction: “Ah Lee! That’s Chinese!” he says.

Lee never actually uses the words “entering the snowman” but the feeling is palpable throughout the interview. I mean, he does bring up the, ahem, politically incorrectness of it all but actually says he didn’t think it was racist in any way, or at least HE didn’t think of it that way.

 

I guess the question is: when does the acting end and the snowman begins? An actor’s job is to play different characters, different people, so why shouldn’t a white guy play a Chinese guy?

Answer?

Because there ARE Chinese actors!!! Oh and, um, some people might find that, um, a tad…yeah.

Snowman you say?

Aaaaaahh!!!

Hey, Peter Sellers, do something funny to cheer me up!

Nothing Wang Here...

Yikes! Ok.

Hey, notice how things are getting progressively worse? Yeah, that’s no coincidence. On that note, lets take a look at Dragon Seed!

*nosebleed*

Katharine Hepburn is, at the best of times, like a fast-talking puppet with a cool (and annoying) voice. At the worst of times: she’s THIS.

Truthfully I have yet to see the film and no doubt a full, in depth review of it will pop up here on the blog soon enough but the trailer and pictures say so much.

 

Incredible.

Like, how do you go on a film set that’s clearly located within the entrails of an entered snowman and not think to yourself: “Wait a minute…Hepburn’s not Chinese!”? I really don’t know what they were thinking back in the day but I guess even to this day with the likes of Beyoncé, Dana Carvey (see Master Of Disguise…actually no, don’t) and The Wayans brothers people are entering snowmen left and right so limiting the nothing wrong here “trend” to Old Hollywood is sonewhat unfair, I do realise.

Then again, if Clint Eastwood’s Letters From Iwo Jima had featured this character:

Breakfast at Tiffany's Snowman

*defecates*

Perhaps…

*defecates*

His popularity…

*defecates*

Wouldn’t have grown so…

Ughhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…

*defecates*

Popular…

*pulls submarine out of the water*

*defecates*

AE

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This entry was posted in changing race, Movies, Retro, Vintage, Or Just Plain Old and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Old Hollywood: Romancing the Snowman

  1. Pingback: Farewell, Sweet Spaz… | enterthesnowman

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