A Trailer Darkly: Enter The Source Code

You’ve all seen the Source Code trailer by now: Jake Gyllenhaal being sent back in time on a train just before a crash for 8 minutes etc.

Well if you haven’t, here it is:

Now before I take this trailer apart I’d just like to say that I’m actually looking forward to this one. Yes the story’s absurd but Moon was pretty ridiculous and director Duncan Jones made it work nonetheless. It’ll probably be entertaining enough to mask the silliest aspects of the film but the trailer really does a good job to make Source Code sound as lame as possible. Even the posters were like a joke. Not the new ones, they’re ok, I mean these:

Source Code 2: City Of Squares

Is it just me or is this poster piss?

For one thing, he’s surrounded by flying SQUARES! Said squares containing awkward stills from the film itself. I just keep expecting Emperor Zod and his pals from Superman II to pop up in one of them….

enterthezod

Then there’s Jake Gyllenhaal. It really looks like a really shiny version of his face has been photoshopped onto a running old man’s body. Oh, and apparently the squares are landing on the ground and Jake is running over them holding what I think is meant to be a gun (who’s he shooting at? the past?) but actually looks more like a beer bottle. Which is great.

Check it out, once you have that in mind you can’t see anything else. Try it!

Drink Responsibly

Theeeeere it is…

I’m also trying to figure out WHERE he is. I mean, it looks like rubble and bricks are falling from the sky along with the aforementioned flying Kodak moments. From what I can tell the guy’s running in a field, on a cloudy day, as photographs and pebbles rain from the sky. I don’t get it. Besides, you can’t even tell what most of these pictures are! Some of them look like they’re of explosions or people standing but…

Never mind. Back to the trailer.

It begins with a “scare”.

Sweet, loud nectar...

*wee*

Wait…lets take a closer look at what that guy’s actually drinking…

Gran Taurino

PURE TAURINE?!

Well at least he’ll be awake throughout the movie.

Then some guy passes by and either spills his coffee on Jake or too much taurine has tainted an incontinent Gyllenhaal’s bodily fluids.

Trouble is Afoot

Then he introduces himself, looks in the mirror and…

OMFG he’s Charlie Sheen.

enterthesheen

That’s when I realise that Source Code is in fact…

Nothing Wrong There

Quantum Source.

Seriously though, how could they not know they were Quantum Leaping right into the snowman’s urethra with that shot? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against a good episode of Scott Bakula’s cross-dressing, time-skipping, hologram-talking cult sci-fi nonsense series. I didn’t waste my time every day as a kid watching that show because I didn’t like it!

But Source Code is a MOVIE made in 2011…Surely I shouldn’t be thinking “Quantum Leap lOl”!

One of the things I don’t get about the trailer: he wakes up in that train, remembers his name and rank but doesn’t remember where he is or how he got there. To be fair, it’ll probably be explained in the actual film but as it stands I don’t understand how the Source Code process works at all. Maybe that’s a good thing though, we shall see.

So what’s Charlie Sheen’s real name?

Fake Fyllenhaal: Part Deux

Teacher of…?

It’s gonna be something lame like biology or geography…or maybe he teaches the past.

I do like Jeffrey Wright in this. He doesn’t talk like a real person, he’s like a cartoon villain you’d see in an Inspector Gadget episode or those futuristic The Phantom animated series. Appropriately Dickian, basically.

“You cannot alter this reality while inside the Source Code”

Why is Jake even contesting this? Did he fall in love with that girl after 8 minutes? He’s been hired to stop some kind of terrorist attack, is his HEART really the priority here?

8 minutes…lol

“A man named Sean Fentress was on that train, he is now YOU”

What do you mean? Oh right. You know, there was a clearer (and smarter) way of saying that.

“Concentrate on the passengers in your car, look for ones who seem nervous…yada yada…you have 8 minutes”

Ok, the passengers:

Curious Grandad

U-huh, ok, he seems pretty harmless…

Two And A Half Pen

These guys…Guy on the right is not only eating a pen but has NO EYES. Guy on the left looks dodgy but has the smallest, most milky white, beautiful man hands I’ve ever seen. They’re like half of him is a child!

Teen Wolf Tom Cruise McLovin

Gee, do you think Teen Wolf Tom Cruise McLovin is a bad guy? The shades, the douchy bluetooth ear thing, the moustache-less beard, the plastic leather jacket…this guy is designed for nerdy scientologic, werewolf-style shenanigans, I know it.

One Third Man

Yes One Third Man may look weird, standing there, occupying no more than a third of the entire shot. He looks nervous, yes, and his hands are definitely holding something…but wait…

HE’S NOT ON THE TRAAAAAIN!!!

*facepalm*

Jake, overdressed TV lady said “concentrate on the passengers in your car…” why are you thinking about some guy tickling his scrotum in what is clearly a public bathroom?

“What would you do if you knew you had less than 8 minutes to live?”

“I’d make these seconds count”

Um, he said “minutes”.

“What’s going on?”

“Some trouble.”

Vaaaaague…

And that’s it folks. The glorious Source Code trailer. Yes, there are numerous lols, yes it sounds pretty dumb and yes it is a Quantum Leap episode. But there are loads of unanswered questions (mostly silly ones) and the trailer does well to not reveal anything that might ruin the entire plot for us. It looks entertaining enough and finding the answers to all those potential gaping plot holes will, I suspect, be the “source” (guffaws) of some fun.

As for the passengers…I think Curious Grandad is hiding something. He’s the dark horse, the others are too obviously dodgy.

Watch him.

Now don’t watch him.

Welcome to space (© g ).

AE

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One Response to A Trailer Darkly: Enter The Source Code

  1. Pingback: EnterYourPINCode.com | enterthesnowman

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