Promoting Thor: A Beautiful Dream

How do you promote a film like Thor?

Hell, how do you make a film like Thor!

I mean, it’s the kind of thing that works in a comic book in that yes, it’s absurd and way too far removed from the rest of the superheroes in that Marvel bunch, but it’s a guy in a silly costume fighting alongside other guys in silly costumes. On paper: it works.

But ever since the promos for Kenneth Branagh‘s film started popping up  I’m slowly starting to realise what a Thor film really means. They tried promoting it as a fish-out-of-water teen comedy…

Uuuuuuuuuuughhhnnnnn…

Now they’re going for the sci-fi action angle (a wise choice) and although the action looks decent enough, I can smell the flop a mile away.

Check out this new poster:

It's Hammer Time

lol

It’s hard to tell if anything is real in this poster. Portman looks way too waxy and puppet-like, Thor looks CGI and everyone else just looks…silly. I know he’s meant to be “in action” but what’s Thor meant to be doing? Hammering the ground as it desintegrates right behind him? He should move. No? I’m just sayin’.

“From the studio that brought you ‘Iron Man'”

Yes, if Iron Man and Iron Man 2 weren’t silly enough for you, we’ve got this.

Wow.

This looks so camp.

Everyone looks so clean and covered in plastic gold! Those monsters and the giant robot look ass. And the dialogs!!!

“You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy.”

“YOU ARE AN OLD MAN AND A FOOL!”

“YOU’RE UNWORTHY!”

“Father…”

“HEEEEEY! (inaudible)”

“I take from you…your POWER! I CAST YOU OUT!!!”

I don’t really get the gratuitous shot of Thor walking topless…who’s THAT for? I guess…the ladies? Why is that in the TRAILER??? It’s meaningless.

So magic and science are one and the same where he comes from? Right. Yeah, that makes no sense. ALL science?!

See this is what I never got about Thor. All these superheroes have these powers which can be explained by a scientific mishap of some sort then this guy comes along and it’s like: magic. Gods and magic.

PWNED!

That guy with the big gold armour couldn’t look any more camp if he came in on Pegasus holding a golden scepter and singing…with THIS guy:

Brian Blessed

Yes ladies and gentlemen: Thor IS Flash Gordon.

And it will be glorious.

AE

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