Paques Of Lies!

Here here g!

Happy holidays dear friends.

Lets have a look at some Eastery things I found in La France only a couple of weeks ago…

First, one of the most unpleasant boulangeries I’ve seen in a long time had this to offer as a tasteful egg-alternative for the kiddoes:

Eat Me

Now if THAT doesn’t make you Easter hungry…

The Rabbit Taste

I don’t know what will.

Do I even need to point out what’s nothing wrong there?

They are armless, buck-toothed, LSD-infused chocolate rabbits.

Um…yum?!

But the very same boulangerie also had this to offer:

Cock For Eatin'

Apologies for the disturbing reflection on the window, I’m not usually this vampiric.

Ok, let me first translate the sign:

“JOHNNY (THE COCKEREL) TO WIN!”

I think this sign is actually miraculously wrong on every single one of its words!

JOHNNY – Cute. Naming inanimate objects is always cute. But in France, only one person is actually called Johnny…

So the cockerel’s name is either purely random or they’re referencing Hallyday…in which case I don’t get it.

He’s not chocolate!

(THE COCKEREL) – Thanks. Just….thanks.

TO WIN – What a treat. Yes. I really want to win a BROKEN chocolate cockerel (see the cock’s feet) which has clearly been half ravaged by the South of France’s burning Springtime sun (see the cock’s chest). Happy Easter you dumb bastards.

And you know what, they actually turned the cock around the very next day! To hide its pitiful state no doubt.

Yeah.

Suddenly these ugly-ass rabbits don’t look so bad, huh?

What's up Doc?

Give me that cock.

By the way, I think the reason France has trouble with Easter has to do with its education in regards to where baby rabbits come from…

Paques your bags SCIENCE!

Uggghhhhhnnnnn…

AE

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