Google And Other Plot Devices

Google.

Who doesn’t use Google?

(notice my cunning use of the link function here)

These days nothing exists that hasn’t been Googled a million times.

THANK you!

And as bloated as Google may be, one can’t deny its annoying usefulness.

But when it comes to the movies, Google or Yahoo searches feel like the all-time laziest excuses to get narratives moving forward. Shamelessly throwing creative plot devices to the wind in favour of blatant turd-vertising.

In the past this has damaged some of the deepest, most enriching films…

Ok shitty ones.

Enter National Treasure, Jerry Bruckheimer’s Nicolas Cage starring Indiana Jones-style treasure-hunting nonsense blockbusting (kinda) franchise.

Sean Bean is the film’s villain (*gasp* BWAAAAAH?!) and he’s hunting for the same treasure Mr Cage has been going around stealing the Declaration Of Independence for. But Cage is very slightly ahead so, what to do?

What to do…

STOW...

Whaa? Popular Searches: Games, Fantasy Football, MARS?!?!

Like…”Mars”?

Irrational Treasure

Ngnnnnn…

It's a Bell!

You seriously don’t KNOW this? You don’t know what the Liberty Bell IS?!

Sooooo dumb.

But smart compared to Halle Berry’s infamous Google search in the infamous Catwoman.

Uhuh...

I see where this is going…

Eureka!

Right…

lol

Cats Cats & More Cats!

But...

Don’t CLICK on it!!!

Helpful?!

No NO! Don’t click on it AGAIN!!!

Wasn’t this a film?

Yes, scroll down. There might be MORE!

That cat must have a neck.

Finally realising how much time she’s wasted on the Cat Lovers Club, she starts a new, less vague search.

"History"?

Look at yourself Catwoman, look at what you’ve become.

Click!

Really? Catsinhistory.com? You’re kidding?

Need you search more?

*sob*

THIS one?

Movies are awful.

I like how it turns out that the cat in all the pictures ACTUALLY is the cat she met like a day prior.

Awful.

I’ll stick to the good shit thank you very much.

*switches on Batman & Robin*

Oh why it appears that Alicia Silverstone is trying to hack into Alfred’s computer (even though the latter could have easily given her the password in the first place), how oh how will she…

...

I don’t think that’s…

*nods*

AWFUL.

AE

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