Ok so the world’s officially gone to shit.


Um, no?!

Yes, 100 % genuine.

100% genuinely pulled out of someone’s genuine ass.

I like his theory though.

Stop mentioning Ghost Rider!!!

From vampirism to time travel to… someone’s ass?

Here’s how that shit looked on Ebay:


“Nicolas Cage is a Vampire”.

Yeah, because Vampire’s Kiss felt sooooo true to life.

“I am a vampire! I am a vampire!”

Ok, let’s look at John Travolta…


Yeah that’s not…

See, here’s the thing…

That’s not reincarnation.

You can’t be Travolta, die and be reincarnated into Travolta.

No, THAT would be ridiculous.

He’d be a bird or a pebble or some shit.

But I know what you guys are thinking. I’m thinking it too.

You mean…

Based on a comparison between his hair and a curly wig he wore in Adaptation this proves he’s NOT a vampire?

Well slap my ass and call me Francis!

Wait, is “changing appearance” bullshit for “age”?

Want conclusive evidence Cage isn’t a vampire?

Vampires LOVE bees!


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