Junk’d

What sets Hotmail apart from the Gmails and Yahoo Mails of this world?

Hilarious junk mail of course!

Now I obviously don’t read that crap. If I did, I’d have one colossal viagra-impregnated penis by now… not to mention hair implants in hard to reach places.

But, come on. You know you’re missing a lot of funny stuff.

Case and point:

Ok, few things wrong here.

Number 1:  

Jeesh, I wasn’t this excited when nudity and peanut butter were involved!

Nudity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see? Feels forced, doesn’t it?

The “I ask you reply to me” isn’t too, shall we say, correct either but I’ll give it a pass seeing as I can actually understand what it’s going for.

Which leads me to…

Number 2:  

I think you might be lonely.

Redundant fool.

Who talks like that?

Johnny 5… is LONELY!!!!!!!!!!!?

Number 3:  

Pardon?

Spend the rest of “smou” all MY life? Why just mine? Whatever “smou” is will no doubt be my end.

And you know what?

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

*shakes fist at SMOU*

Why I oughta…

Number 4:   

Close but no cigar.

Maybe they’re neighbours… ?

Bottom line: if you’re gonna chant like a cockerel, don’t WRITE it! That’s insane!

Finally Number 5:  

I’m sorry, I just can’t get over that. Reading that email, I keep feeling my days are numbered. So weird.

If Johnny 5 is alive then I should be too, shouldn’t I?

That by now Hotmail hasn’t gotten rid of its junk-ridden system is beyond me. The only possible explanation seems to be that they are unwilling to deny us the hilariousness of the mails themselves.

Which is fair enough I suppose.

Now if I can just…

Take THAT smou!

AE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2 Responses to Junk’d

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