Sandy Willy

Wouldn’t it be weird if there was a Prince William/Kate Middleton/whatever their baby’s called sculpture in the middle of London made out of sand?

And it was really ugly?

I wonder…

Prince William Sculpture

William And KateWow. Just… wow.

Where to even start with this one?

First, the location.

I get why you would place that sculpture in Canary Wharf, I do. The fact that the area is like the anti-beach makes it ripe for beaching-up. But why put it in some out-of-the-way corner where it basically obstructs some of the main path?

And why put it right next to a BOAT CHURCH?!

floating Church

And why now? I saw that sculpture early in the Summer and it’s now October! The thing’s falling apart! If this was meant to be a respectful ass-kissing to the Royals, it has sorely backfired.

I mean, look at it:

William Kate

Granted, the sculpture was really ugly to begin with. William and Kate look nothing like William and Kate: they’re chunky, they look about 80 and their faces are simply all wrong. The current state of it doesn’t help: Kate’s neck looks like it has fur and poor old Will may have been given more hair than he actually has in real life but he’s apparently also been given leprosy.

That bizarre mound they’re placed on is also perplexing: it’s like they’re coming out of a sombrero! You know, one of those sombreros made of taco shells?

Finally, the side and back of the sculpture are just plain lazy.

William Kate Side

Both Kate and William seem to melt into one single, shapeless, piece of cheese.

Hm…

I wonder…

Pizza royalIt’s no cheeseburger pizza but it’ll have to do, I suppose…

AE

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