2 Cloudy 2 Furious

Hollywood movies get the weirdest French titles sometimes…

Last year, we saw The Host become:

120x160 Trilogie 11_01(The Vagrant Souls)

But this weird re-titling has been going on since forever, I mean, remember Sleeper?

Well in France no-one knows it as Sleeper.

Everyone, however, knows:

woody-et-les-robots-20110420064752“Woody And The Robots”!

Now, I don’t mind taking a normal title and making it sound silly, that’s been going on non-stop since the dawn of time.

Even changing an English title to another, sillier sounding, English title I don’t mind:

Sex-Friends-Affiche-FranceEspecially when the movie sucks regardless.

I have to draw the line, though, at taking a title that already sounds absurd and making it sound, somehow, even goofier.

Case and point: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2.

Ile Des Miamnimaux

Ok, let me translate exactly what they’ve done here.

I’ll stop every so often to take a breath.

“The Island Of Yum-Nimals”.


“Storm Of The Giant Meatballs 2”.

Now, I don’t know what the hell a “yum-nimal” is. I’m guessing, if I remember the movie’s trailer correctly, that they’re animals made of food?

Or… food made of animals?

I’m also guessing from the “yum” that they’re delicious?

CheespiderNope, not eating that.

You know, I’m starting to think that this movie kinda asked for its even sillier French title…

I mean, after all, IT came up with the sickening idea of “Foodimals”!

foodimalsJust look at the list the film’s Wiki page gives us:





I like how some are creative and ever-so-slightly convoluted like “Tyranno-s’more-us Mess” and others are just:


What else is there?

Food PeopleF-food… people?!

Right, you win, Cloudy 2.

You keep your crazy long, crazy-sounding French title, you deserve it!

Crazy flick…


Posted in Advertising & Packaging, Animals, Cartoons, Foods & Drinks, Movies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Down With Poo!

More French-themed enterthesnowman goodness for y’all.

You know Marseilles?

The place that’s both a city in France AND a dish-washing liquid flavour?

Marseille Flavour

Well, as nice of a place as it is, some people seem unsatisfied with it.

Case and point:

Poo Sign

Now, I’ll enlarge the picture for you in a minute but all you need to look out for is a sign saying “MARRE DE MARCHER DANS LA MERDE!” which roughly translates as “TIRED OF WALKING IN SHIT!”.

MerdeHere’s what I’m thinking.

First: LOL.

Second: the people living on this street are tired of people or dogs shitting in the area.

Third: the people living on this street are posting these signs all over town as the beginning of some sort of nationwide poo protest!

Whatever the real reason is, I just wanna say:

I’m with you.

Down with poo!


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Doppelganger Cruise

Let’s take a trip!

Hell, let’s take a cruise!

Croisiere Des sosiesNow this is a French flier so I’ll translate.

“The Cruise Of Lookalikes: Song, Dance, Laughs.”

Yes, it’s exactly what you think.

Here’s a cruise which prides itself on being packed full of celebrity lookalikes. Not celebrities: people who look (or sometimes DON’T look) like celebrities.

French celebrities.

Most of which are unknowns to the rest of the world.

Les ArtistesHere they are: the “stars” of the show.

You’ve got Elvis Presley in there, of course, you’ve got popular, late French comedian Coluche (the only one who looks sort of decent as a lookalike, by the way), classic popstars like Dalida, Claude Francois and Michel Sardou AND, my favourite, impersonator Laurent Gerra:

GerraNow Gerra is kind of like the French equivalent to Bob Saget, except he impersonates celebrities.

Which means that the person impersonating Laurent Gerra will ALSO be impersonating countless other celebrities WHILE looking like him. This guy’s like the Inception of lookalikes!

Artist Pics 2Each picture is supported by a short, boring biography of each lookalike and…


ArtistesWhat’s with the **?

ReserveOh great: the lookalikes aren’t even all confirmed for this friggin’ thing. Half of them could just bow out at any moment!

Could you imagine?

You’re going on this cruise hoping to see your favourite celebrity horribly imitated.

Like, for example, Jacques Brel:

BrelAnd fake Jacques Brel doesn’t show up!

Your shitty cruise would be RUINED!!!

On second thoughts, let us not go to that lookalike cruise.

It is a silly place.



Posted in Photography, Retro, Vintage, Or Just Plain Old, Signs, stinker writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


Few days ago, I was on the train and something happened.

Something I can’t quite explain.

A dude walked up to the empty seat in front of me and left this:

ChestnutThe weird thing, despite the placing of the chestnut, is that our eyes met for a second mere moments before the surreal event. Which left me to wonder:

Is this his way of asking me out?

Or is he just part of some kind of weird cult that goes around town charming dudes with chestnuts?

You know what, being asked out is, more often than not, flattering: this is just…

I don’t know what this is.

The other theory could be that he’s some kind of posh/pretend-poor art student with a dream. A dream of one day selling videos of him chestnutting strangers all around London to eccentric aristocrats and living on unicorn milk for the rest of his days.

I went online looking into potential chestnut-inspired art projects and this is basically all I could find:

Chestnut ArtThank you Google.

Thank you very much.

Chestnut Art 2You’ve failed me once again.

But ok, what else could this whole chestnut thing be about?

Was that guy crazy? Was he just carrying a chestnut around and was unsure as to how best to get rid of it? Why me? Why a chestnut?

F*** knows.

All I know is that it means something.

I mean, just look at what I happened to see on my way home THE SAME DAY:

IMG_0683Should I be worried?

I’m worried.



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Brittany’s Harshtag

Twitter‘s great.

Bad things in real life happen and you no longer have to wait 30 seconds to find out! Now everything just “trends” and straight-away you can be free to hashtag a celebrity who just died followed by a respectful #RIP even though you only learned that person existed days before and never even bothered to check out their work until you found out they passed.

You can trend all sorts of fun shit like that: natural disasters, Ben Aflleck… you name it.

Every so often, however, something trends and it’s just plain bizarre.

See if you can spot the odd one out in this list:


Take your time.

Let me give you a clue: it’s not Wimbledon.

Yes, #brittanyshatherpants is, indeed, the odd one out.

Who is Brittany?

Why did she shit her pants?

How come we’re all talking about it?

All questions I’ve desperately tried to seek the answers to.

Trending Topic


Yeah, that doesn’t help me.

Why Brittany

I don’t know, dude!

I’m just as confused as you are!

Hell, the closest I ever came to finding an actual answer to this whole mess was this:

Brittany Answer

Who knows what that’s about.

Looks like I’ll never know why  Brittany shat her pants…

Wherever she is, whoever she is, I just hope she’s ok and all cleaned up.

Here’s to you, trending pants-shitter!



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Sandy Willy

Wouldn’t it be weird if there was a Prince William/Kate Middleton/whatever their baby’s called sculpture in the middle of London made out of sand?

And it was really ugly?

I wonder…

Prince William Sculpture

William And KateWow. Just… wow.

Where to even start with this one?

First, the location.

I get why you would place that sculpture in Canary Wharf, I do. The fact that the area is like the anti-beach makes it ripe for beaching-up. But why put it in some out-of-the-way corner where it basically obstructs some of the main path?

And why put it right next to a BOAT CHURCH?!

floating Church

And why now? I saw that sculpture early in the Summer and it’s now October! The thing’s falling apart! If this was meant to be a respectful ass-kissing to the Royals, it has sorely backfired.

I mean, look at it:

William Kate

Granted, the sculpture was really ugly to begin with. William and Kate look nothing like William and Kate: they’re chunky, they look about 80 and their faces are simply all wrong. The current state of it doesn’t help: Kate’s neck looks like it has fur and poor old Will may have been given more hair than he actually has in real life but he’s apparently also been given leprosy.

That bizarre mound they’re placed on is also perplexing: it’s like they’re coming out of a sombrero! You know, one of those sombreros made of taco shells?

Finally, the side and back of the sculpture are just plain lazy.

William Kate Side

Both Kate and William seem to melt into one single, shapeless, piece of cheese.


I wonder…

Pizza royalIt’s no cheeseburger pizza but it’ll have to do, I suppose…


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Food Fornication

Who doesn’t like food?

FOOLS, that’s who.

Now I enjoy the odd burger and the odd pizza but when I received this flyer through my door:

Pizza Hut

Something just didn’t feel right.

How can two good things in one not be glorious?

Having not tasted that Cheeseburger Pizza, I guess I can’t really say whether this is any good or not but looking at it, I can’t say I find it all that appetising.

Cheese burger

It really feels like a heart attack waiting to happen. Besides, isn’t the whole point of a pizza that the cool toppings are in and around the middle? Why stuff everything in the crust?

Pretty soon they’ll be stuffing pizza crusts with pizza…

I guess this really is for people who can’t decide what the hell they want to eat, something which Burger King makes very clear when promoting their…


I don’t buy this whole sharing bullshit, by the way. Pizzas have always been really easy to share and who wants to share a burger? Just get your own damn burger, Shary Sharerson.

This pizza burger somehow manages to look just like a regular burger and yet way more disgusting than a regular burger. I guess maybe because it’s the size of a PIZZA!

Pizza Burger

Oh, and people who don’t like eating regular pizza crusts and choose stuffed crusts or Cheeseburger crusts because of that, just a little piece of advice:

Find better pizza places.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a delicious pancake burger waiting for me.

Pancake Burger

Mmmmm, palpitations…


Posted in Foods & Drinks | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments